"Delay is natural to a writer. He is like a surfer—he bides his time. Waits for the perfect wave on which to ride in. He waits for the surge (of emotion? of strength? of courage?) that will carry him along." (E.B. White, The Paris Review Interviews, 1969)
1.12.2007
Stupid Marketing Idea of the "Noughties"
If I were working in marketing, I would propose paying to put our competitor's ads on these things.
7 comments:
Anonymous
said...
I'm torn on this one. On the one hand, I'm against anything that makes ridiculous airport security more economically viable. On the other hand, I'm for anything that makes ridiculous airport security seem more ridiculous.
I think they would be smart to find ways to make it more efficient and tie their fund-raising strategies into those things in a very visible way. For example, find a way to do away with the humiliating and demeaning process of removing shoes. Maybe a company could give away flip-flops or booties with logos on it (Dr. Scholls?) to help defray the cost of whatever more-effective measure they are devising to replace this ineffective practice.
Airport security is more than ridiculous; it increases the compliance and submission of Americans to authority figures. It creates fearful suppliants who will REMOVE their clothing (and whatever they ask of us next) when their masters say so. Very dangerous stuff, I'd say.
Great, so now we will have corporations determining the budget of our 'security' and making sure we are 'safe:'
[announcer voice over] And with our new wearable Ziplock (TM) bag you can slip right through security.
[traveler face close up] I just started using Ziplock's (TM) new wearable bags and my waiting time at the airport has been reduced sooo much. I can't believe I waited this long!!.
[second traveler medium shot] I used to use other bags, but I always had trouble with them ripping open or what have you. But now with Ziplock (TM) I don't worry about a thing. I feel sooo secure!!
[long shot of security area showing travelers, stark naked, inside a gigantic Ziplock (TM) bag laying down in a conveyer belt as he/she get whisked and scanned through the x-ray machine while other people, wearing their clothing, have to stand in line].
[voice over] Get your new wearable Ziplock (TM)bags and speed through security now!
[overly fast muted disclaimer voice over] Not available in all areas. Some bags might not fit all users. Some airports might requiere wearer to go though additional screening. Keep America safe.
7 comments:
I'm torn on this one. On the one hand, I'm against anything that makes ridiculous airport security more economically viable. On the other hand, I'm for anything that makes ridiculous airport security seem more ridiculous.
I think they would be smart to find ways to make it more efficient and tie their fund-raising strategies into those things in a very visible way. For example, find a way to do away with the humiliating and demeaning process of removing shoes. Maybe a company could give away flip-flops or booties with logos on it (Dr. Scholls?) to help defray the cost of whatever more-effective measure they are devising to replace this ineffective practice.
Airport security is more than ridiculous; it increases the compliance and submission of Americans to authority figures. It creates fearful suppliants who will REMOVE their clothing (and whatever they ask of us next) when their masters say so. Very dangerous stuff, I'd say.
Nothing so noughty as removing ones clothing in public. Especially when "master" tells you to...
Anyway -- nice new look for the new year, Doc.
Oh my, that IS noughty. The shoe fixation seems ESPECIALLY noughty, no?
Thanks for the compliment. The youngsta's at google are putting the "WYS" in WYSIWYG.
Wizi-wha'... ?
Great, so now we will have corporations determining the budget of our 'security' and making sure we are 'safe:'
[announcer voice over] And with our new wearable Ziplock (TM) bag you can slip right through security.
[traveler face close up] I just started using Ziplock's (TM) new wearable bags and my waiting time at the airport has been reduced sooo much. I can't believe I waited this long!!.
[second traveler medium shot] I used to use other bags, but I always had trouble with them ripping open or what have you. But now with Ziplock (TM) I don't worry about a thing. I feel sooo secure!!
[long shot of security area showing travelers, stark naked, inside a gigantic Ziplock (TM) bag laying down in a conveyer belt as he/she get whisked and scanned through the x-ray machine while other people, wearing their clothing, have to stand in line].
[voice over] Get your new wearable Ziplock (TM)bags and speed through security now!
[overly fast muted disclaimer voice over] Not available in all areas. Some bags might not fit all users. Some airports might requiere wearer to go though additional screening. Keep America safe.
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